Even After Writing a Book About Him, I Still Relate to the “Worst” Prophet Jonah

As I sit here in quarantine, I have decided to push through some books that I’ve started and haven’t finished yet. This is one of those. As I finish up the last few pages, I can’t help but think two things. 1. How much like Jonah I still am (even after writing a book about him) and 2. How I wish I had the problems of the author.

I have been a believer from childhood, and I still argue and fight with the Lord like Jonah. I still resist His calling. I don’t want to do anything but retire peacefully in a city in Spain (maybe Tarshish. It sounds like a nice town) and not walk in His calling for my life. But the only reason I do anything is because of His goodness and His Spirit living in me that gives me hope.

Goodness, Mark is an awesome speaker and preacher (I did watch some of the sermons on this). He is doing something I could never do and wouldn’t want to do. But I feel like our lives are worlds apart. The heartbreak in my life and, I’m sure many of yours, are too much to bear sometimes.

The struggles the world faces vs. the “struggles” that many church people discuss openly are not the same. Trauma, abuse, divorce, poverty, depression, anxiety, and much more is the reality that the world faces. It’s not easy to see pastors who seem to have just simple struggles like their child breaking something in their nice, beautiful house, and compare them to mine as a single mom who struggles every day of my life and think this is relatable.

It’s a great book, don’t get me wrong. Life right now seems like a mountain that’s impossible to simply take the next step. I don’t want to move. I want to cower in the bottom of the boat and sleep. Just as Jonah did. But I’m sure once again, the Lord will be faithful and force me out of the boat. (He’ll Probably cause a storm and have people throw me over the side of the boat to sink in the ocean. Oddly specific, huh?) And I will obey.

I will want to be joyfully obedient, but I will probably complain the whole time like always. And God will still use me because He is the one who is good. He is the one who is faithful. And I am along for whatever ride He takes me on.

But you know what? I won’t shut Him out. And I won’t pretend like things are fine. And I will give Him all the glory along the way because Even if He doesn’t do what I want, He Is still good.

I’m thankful for reading this book. Jonah’s the worst example of a prophet of God and the one I relate to the most unfortunately. 😩😂🤦‍♀️ #intothedepths