Wow, this really hits home for me. I've been doing the same thing to myself. all the negative thoughts and being so down on my self. I really appreciate your transparency and guidance on this subject. Now I know what to pray.

Posting this for selfish reasons. I always lose track of lists like this. lol! This is a list of all the free textbooks, courses, and other resources for research. Hope this helps you, too!!

I block myself. I don’t know how to be happy, how to sustain.
I’m toxic to myself in this state.
I want to know. I have to know. I can’t stop.
My brain, my thoughts, my fears consume me.
I want to stop before I begin; I can’t keep going.
He helped me move forward and grow.
I had a partner, but I lost it.
My heart is broken, but I must keep moving.
I hear you calling me forward.
The future is scary, it’s overwhelming.
I don’t know how or what will be.
I want him back. I want it to work. I want him to heal. I want him to want me.
But more than that, I need me to want me.